Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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