Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
