Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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