Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
