We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
