I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
