I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
