and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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