love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
