I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
