Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's rum buckets o'clock
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
