Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
