I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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