Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
