Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
