have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hippo gnu deer
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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