Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm bleeding and have questions
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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