She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
