Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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