What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize