Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
