Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
