The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
