I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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