did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
