Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Michael Bay diarrhea
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
