Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
