He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
