Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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