Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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