The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
