I understand Curling. That high.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
