its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
