erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
