You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
