You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
