I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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