Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It's Friday. Sex?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
