i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
