I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
