Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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