So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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