I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
