maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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