He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
