the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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