He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
All I want is dick and wine.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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