My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
