I got chris browned last night
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize