Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
