I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
