So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My ass is underappreciated
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
