Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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