Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i already hear my dad disowning me
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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