can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think people are normalizing furries
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
