Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
