This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
