Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
