He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize