He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
