I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
