Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
