K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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