Someone shit on the floor
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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