hotel room ftw
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
