I wish you could order shots online.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
