This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
