but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
