I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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