i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Can I color on your dick again?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
