i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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