Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
