careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
