im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
