I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
