Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
