Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
