my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
