They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
