Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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