i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
